Crazy Dreams – no, SERIOUSLY

First off, thanks for all the loads of congrats y’all spread throughout Twitter and the comment area.  Sharing the news and receiving excitement back, makes this all even MORE exciting.  It’s happiness every time someone finds out.  Is it weird that I’ve shared this news everywhere but Facebook?  No?  Ok, good.  We’ll do that at some point.

One of my friends warned me about the dreams she has when she’s pregnant….and wow.  I don’t think I could have ever predicted some of the crazy nights I have.  Here are some of the doozies:

  • I’m hanging out with one of my volleyball players, her mom, my co-worker, and someone else (there were 4 others I think).  My co-worker and I pull up under this wooden pavilion in the middle of a field.  I get out of the car and start walking around to the other car, where my player and her mom get out of their car also.  We all say our hellos and then I begin to walk around, noticing that there’s a little ledge where the creek starts.  I’m holding my iPhone in my hand (apparently in my dreams, I still have an iPhone. WINNING.)  I fail to notice that there is another car parked in this area also.  Two men jump out and force everyone into their car.  However, my friend (whose husband is a cop) jumps in her car and speeds away.  I know she’s going to get help but the jerks start saying how she abandoned us.  I drop my phone in the grass, and am praying that it doesn’t ring so that they don’t realize it’s there.  I plead with them, telling them I’m pregnant and that they shouldn’t hurt me.  Instead, they opt to tie me to the wooden post (which has magically appeared) and I pretend that my hands are being hurt and I’m stuck forever (HA on you Bad Guys!  I’m not hurting!  I’m faking it.  Master theatrical skills coming into play.).  I start trying to figure out how to get to my phone when….I wake up.
  • Another dream involved hooking up my married girlfriend with someone else.  I don’t remember all the details about this, but Joel thinks it’s really odd that I had a dream about this.  Whenever I wake up, I usually tell him about my dreams.
  • I’m in the hospital and just gave birth to the baby.  All of a sudden, they tell me that I’m going to have another baby.  TWINS?!? Nope.  I’m due to go into labor with another baby in 2 weeks.  I start crying hysterically because I don’t know how I’m going to have babies two weeks apart.  How am I going to physically have two babies in two weeks?  Also, how the hell did this happen?  Oh yeah – it’s because I had sex with Joel while pregnant.  Guess who got cut off for a while after that one?
And for the creme de la creme:
  • I’ve given birth to the baby and I’m so excited.  I love the little baby so much and life is great!  I can’t remember what the sex of the baby is because the baby looks the same as a fetus at about 12 weeks.  It’s itty bitty and kinda weird-looking.  It has a huge head and an inappropriately proportioned body attached.  The kicker about this dream is that I keep my baby in a cup.  A cup.  A clear plastic cup.  Not even one of the nice Solo red cups, but a cheap plastic one.  I did wrap a napkin around it to suffice as a blanket.  But I keep my baby in a cup.  Then I realize that it’s not cute at all and start being freaked out by this little alien creature I’m keeping in a cup.  Did I mention I kept the cup on the counter?  Yeah, if this doesn’t have awesome parenting written all over it, I don’t know what does.  So I’m frustrated with the alien on the counter and then all of a sudden I look down and the baby is a chubby 9 month old and I love it again.  Apparently I have a severe attraction to chubby babies.  Then I woke up and was completely confused about what was reality.
Send help.  And sleeping pills.

One thought on “Crazy Dreams – no, SERIOUSLY

  1. Your last dream there reminds me of David Lynch’s film “Eraserhead”. DO NOT WATCH THAT WHILE PREGNANT.

    Also: Pan’s Labrynth, My Life, or Parenthood.

    Also: Anything Pixar.

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