So I took the advice of friends and family seriously when it came to meeting others and trying to fit a group of friends here in our new town. Most people told me to join a “mommy” group. I was a little hesitant because in Huntsville, my friends were my friends because of our similarities. Some had kids – some didn’t. It didn’t matter either way though. BUT- I’m up for joining groups if it helps me to meet people quicker. For a few weeks, I was really put off that none of the groups would email me back. Being a little prideful, I didn’t want to contact the same group twice – because come on – I don’t want to be begging for friends or anything. The group that ended up contacting me back is called M@CC (I’m going to try and “code” the name because I don’t want someone looking for this group and landing in my blog) – Mothering as a C@reer Club. A CAREER. I….I just have so many issues with this title. First off – motherhood is not a career nor is it a hobby. It’s not anything I was educated on, trained for, or am being paid at. Therefore – NOT a career. I think it’s more of a lifestyle choice if it deems such a title. Joel didn’t really see why I was all up in arms about the name of this group until our realtor asked if I found any groups to hang out with yet. I said that I went to a playdate with the M@CC group. She looked a little confused and I confessed that it was the “Mothering as a…*mumbled something incoherently*” She jumped in with “as a CAREER club – YES. Well. I didn’t join that because I always had a career.” And even though she did NOT mean this to be mean or condescending, Joel immediately saw that why this title was so offensive to me.
I say all this to say that I have joined this group – except I haven’t done it officially because I haven’t paid my dues yet ($20/year) but I intend on joining. They always send out an active monthly calendar that has multiple events every week so it offers a lot of freedom as to what events match up with Lila’s schedule.
I’m also saying all of this because last night I was pissed at this group.
There was a Mom’s Night Out scheduled for last night. Even though I am an extrovert, I still am a little nervous about just showing up some place and being like HEY! Let’s hang out! You know, because that’s weird. We finished dinner last night, I got all cute with HEELS and MAKEUP and HAIR. I drove over to the restaurant where we were supposed to be having karaoke night (which I would not be participating in because I only karaoke once I REALLY know you. That’s not first date material.) and hopefully having a few drinks. I pull in the parking lot and was a little surprised by how empty the parking lot was. Actually, it wasn’t empty but it was lacking a good number of SUVs and minivans. So I walk in about 15 minutes late because I can’t be the new girl AND one of the first ones there but I don’t see any tables of women hanging out. Except one. It’s a booth with 4 women sitting at it. I frantically called Joel and was like “Um, what do I do?!?” So I hung up and went over there and asked the first lady who made eye contact with me if they were from the M@CC group. She responded no and I frantically apologized and jetted back to the safety of my car. I checked my email again for the 15th time that night but there was no response to my RSVP or any notice they had cancelled.
I called Joel and told him that I was on my way home but I was going to be stopping to get a milkshake and some onion rings first.
Emotions varied from annoyance to anger to sadness to bitter. An actual thought I had – “Screw you b*#$^%@! I’ve got a milkshake and an episode of Dateline murder mysteries on my DVR – I DON’T NEED YOU.” What is so frustrating is that because I haven’t paid my dues BECAUSE THEY KEEP CANCELLING THE EVENTS I GO TO (this is the second event cancelled that I was not notified about but thankfully didn’t go to the other one since it was a 45 min drive from my house) I don’t have any way of contacting anyone except for an email address to one girl who I like a lot but this is NOT OK.
She wrote me an email at about 1am that stated the event was cancelled (what?! no way!) and that she hoped I stayed home (nope!) since she didn’t email me back. I’m just frustrated. Frustrated with the lack of everything with this group. This cannot be normal for mom groups, right??